To commemorate my 45th birthday today, I’ve decided to make a list of 45 things I have learned (most likely the hardest way possible) over the years.
This is a big deal because: A. I haven’t ever been a big fan of acknowledging my birthday (I'm a grown adult, I don't need a specific day to celebrate. I'll celebrate on a random Tuesday night if I need to for no reason at all) and B. I am not under the impression anyone really has the time or gives any shits about what I’ve learned.
But you know what? This list is for ME. This is to move forward in life in a way that says “I give a shit about myself and am proud of where I am.”
So here it is
45 Things It Took Me 45 Years To Learn (*in no particular order)
1. Sarcasm is a passive aggressive way of being mean when directed at someone. It is only funny when directed at a situation. Just have the balls to say what you need to say and everyone will get along just fine.
2. There is a positive side in every situation, find it.
3. No fucking way in hell ever let someone else control you. If they feel the need to control, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own insecurities.
4. You are enough.
5. A biological connection to someone doesn’t automatically make them family. Love and loyalty does.
6. Kids teach you more than you will ever teach yourself, including how to unconditionally love.
7. Traveling is imperative. You realize your problems are insignificant when you immerse yourself in a different culture.
8. Give Back! Nothing makes you more humble than helping others in need.
9. Daily check ins of gratitude and mediation are vital. However, sometimes you’ve been dealt a shitty hand and it’s ok to not feel happy about it for a little while. Just don’t get caught up in the negative part of it. Feel it and move on.
10. If one person says you are some way, you can choose to listen or not. If two or more people are saying the same thing, you need to listen and ask yourself, “what is my responsibility in why they are saying this?”For example - I’ve had to make peace with the fact that I need to work on being “closed off” and “not showing my emotions” and that I’m “scary.”
11. Pay attention to your intuition. It’s there for a reason.
12. SENSE OF HUMOR IS IMPORTANT. IF YOU DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR - WHAT IS THE POINT OF LIFE?
13. Anxiety is a time stealer. I willingly gave away what amounts to years of my life to unnecessary worry. It's important to learn coping mechanisms for anxiety when we're young so it doesn't get the satisfaction of stealing away years of your life.
14. All you have to do is show up.
15. When you do show up, show up on time. It shows you not only respect the person or event, it shows you respect yourself.
16. People who aren't kind to service staff or animals are not kind people.
17. Always overtip for good service.
18. Nobody is going to support your dreams the way you do. Don't expect them to.
19. Almond milk lattes suck. I’m sorry, they just do.
20. Your perfect weight is the one you feel best at.
21. Cut your losses as soon as you realize something isn’t working. Just fucking learn to walk away.
22. Set firm boundaries.
23. “Dealbreakers” are necessary and personal. Don’t let anyone try to make you feel badly about what you consider a dealbreaker. If they do, that is red flag.
24. Have one really good recipe in your pocket. Perfect it so that it’s your claim to fame in the kitchen. (Million-dollar chicken all the way!)
25. Don’t say anything about anyone that you wouldn’t say to their face.
26. Drink champagne daily if possible.
27. Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear.
28. Whenever possible, narrate the thoughts of random animals. It’s comedy gold.
29. Not having fun is not an option.
30. Supposedly sharing a Coke will solve world peace, but I disagree. A good honey crisp apple can teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.
31. There is nothing more unattractive than a person without passion.
32. ADHD is the best gift I’ve ever received.
33. OCD however, is the worst gift I’ve ever received.
34. No idiom, nursery rhyme, or prayer is going to help you not throw up if you’ve drank too much. It doesn’t matter if you drank beer before liquor.
35. Hangovers suck. Big time. And they get worse as you get older.
36. Taking medication for mental illness doesn’t dull who you are, it quiets the noise so that you can be the best version of yourself.
37. For the love of God, cut the drama.
38. Learn to manage your anger. Easier said than done, but if I can do it, ANYONE can.
39. Keep your word and your promises. Just be fucking reliable. Even if you’re tired, hungover, or in a mood, follow through with commitments to people because all relationships (business and personal) are built on trust. Nobody will give you their time, money, or respect if you don’t keep your word.
40. There is an entire world to explore and discover. Don’t lose your sense of wonder.
41. If you’re always waiting for “the other shoe to drop,” it will. Who wants to live in a world where these supposed shoes of doom are falling from the sky? Just truly believe that good things happen and they will.
42. Size and age doesn’t matter. Full stop.
43. Don’t let your insecurities take away your ability to have fun. The truth is, most people are so focused on themselves that they aren’t even paying attention to what your perceive as your faults.
44. For the love of Christ, learn to recognize the signs of Narcissistic behavior and immediately set a firm boundary with that person. Run for the fucking hills, and whatever you do, DO NOT MARRY THEM.
45. The best advice I have ever received came from my niece who was 4 years old at the time when she said:
"I'm not listening to anybody."
Which are the words I have learned to live by when it comes to making decisions for myself. And on that note, I'm out.